Anger is opposite of meekness. We want meekness to be a predominant characteristic in our nature, rather than anger. The Bible puts great importance on being meek. The Bible states, that the meek will have good judgment because, “The meek will He guide in judgment: the meek he will teach his ways” (Ps 25:9). “The meek will inherit the earth” (Ps 37:11). The meek will respond to the gospel, “He came to preach good tiding to the meek” (Isaiah 61:1). The meek will have special joy: “The meek shall increase their joy” (Isaiah 29:19). The meek will understand Christ’s nature because He was meek, “for I am meek and lowly in heart” (Matt 11:29). The meek will have power in witnessing for the Lord said, “Be ready to give an answer…with meekness” (I Peter 3:15).
Why do we become angry? If we check to see why we become angry at someone, we will notice it is usually because we feel that our right(s) have been violated. If we were to take a sheet of paper and write the last three times that we became angry, we would probably see that this is the case. If we made a list of all the rights that we feel we have, some of these might be on the list:
- The right to express personal opinions without being criticized
- The right to be accepted and respected as an individual
- The right to privacy
- The right to choose our own friends
- The right to control the use of personal property or things
- The right to spend our money as we want to
- The right to raise our children as we see fit
- The right to help make important decisions that concern our family
- The right to be treated with honor by our children
- The right to a certain amount of consideration by our husband
If we look at our list of “rights” that we feel we “deserve”, we would see that probably one of these rights was violated, and that is why we lost our temper or became angry..
Realizing this fact is an important key to the solution of family conflicts. Here is an example: your sister is in the eighth grade. She really doesn’t wear the same size clothes that you do, but she borrows your clothes anyway. Then, instead of hanging them up, she crumples them up in a ball and throws them under the bed. This gets you so mad that you are nearly always fighting with her. (In this instance, you feel that your right to control the use of your own clothes has been violated).
To make matters worse, your mother sides with your sister whenever you say anything about this. One day you bought a new pair of slacks, and your sister wore them. After she got home from school, she folded them up and put them away in the closet. You thought that was rather strange until you went to wear them. She had fallen while wearing them and one whole knee was ripped out. (In this instance, you feel that your mother should understand your situation and be on your side for a change, because your rights have once again been violated by your sister and your mother not standing up for you in the first place.
Since you owned the clothes, you have maintained the rights and all the responsibility for your clothes yourself. Rights and responsibility accompanies the ownership of the property, always. But if you transferred the ownership to God, which we will talk about in another chapter, He would assume chief responsibility to protect your clothes, as well as the right to their use.
How do we surrender our “so-called rights” to the Lord? This is done by sincere prayer. We are to relinquish our “right” to that thing, person, feeling or opinion to God, and He then can do whatever He wants to with what we relinquished; whenever He chooses. I know this is hard to do.
Next, after we surrender our “rights” to God, we must thank Him for whatever happens. Any surrender we make to the Lord will be tested however, to see if it was really real. But this is our opportunity to show our Father that we meant it when we said that we surrendered ourselves and our rights to His will.
I enjoy doing the family finances. I had the check book and the control of the finances taken away from me one night during an argument with my husband (frankly I forgot why because it has been so long ago). I was very angry and felt that my rights to handle the finances had been violated. I no longer had the right to make decisions on my own as to how the money would be spent and how to manage it. Then suddenly (by God’s grace), I realized why I was so angry and I felt like a knife had been stabbed into my heart. It was because I had “lost the control” of the finances. It was the “control” that had me in bondage, and I had also made money too much of an idol in my heart. When I realized that “I” and my “hang-ups” were the problem (and not my husband), and that God was having to deal with my idolatry and this bondage in my life, because He loves and cares about me; then I was able to relinquish the control over to the Lord. I was then able to trust my husband with the finances, by yielding to the Holy Spirit. By the way, my husband did a beautiful job with the finances without any of my help and eventually became so busy that he turned them back over to me, with my reporting to him once a month where we were at.
When we yield our so-called “rights” that we think we’re entitled to, we then need to redirect our wills and refocus our emotions. We have to rebuild our thoughts by putting on “the mind of Christ”, giving thanks to God and realizing that we have no right to be angry, because we have said “Thy Will Be Done Oh Lord.”
In regard to all that we have dedicated to the Lord, whether they are things, situations or people, we need to reconstruct our thoughts by realizing that all that we have dedicated has been given over to the Lord. We must refocus our emotions by saying to ourselves, “I will thank the Lord for whatever happens, and then we must say to the Lord, “not my will but Yours be done.” My life has been bought with a price by the King and I am not my own, I have no rights, I am a servant of the Most High God and whenever He calls I will answer, whatever He asks of me I will do and whatever He wants from me I will gladly give to Him. I am just His steward and all that I have, I take care of FOR HIM. So, I will LOVE Him and I will be His faithful and loyal servant always.
We have no rights to happiness, to be treated in a special way, to be respected, to be considered, to be healthy, to ANYTHING!
Let’s look at some Scriptural principles for a moment with regard to each of these:
Self – “not my will but thine be done” (Luke 22:42)
Activities — “do all for the glory of God” (I Cor 10:31)
Dating — “Nothing you desire can compare with her (wisdom = Jesus Christ)” (Proverbs 3:15).
Clothes & Appearance – “adorn thyself with a meek and quiet spirit” (I Peter 3:4)
Money & Possessions – “set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth” (Colossians 3:2).
Knowledge – “his delight is in the law of the Lord and in His law doth he meditate day and night” (Ps 1:2).
Music and Entertainment – “and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (II Cor 10:5).
The Future – “Trust in the Lord with all thy heart and lean not unto your own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy path” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Health – “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (II Cor 12:9).
Schedules –I am a servant of the Most High and am here to do His bidding whenever He directs me do so. Again, not my will but thine be done applies here.
These are just a few of the things that the Word has to say to us. But every struggle we face each day has an answer provided for us in the Bible, like these above. The Word is a vital, living Word that can cleanse, change and transform us as we are in it each day.
Lastly, the Bible says, women are to “Adorn themselves with a meek and quiet spirit which is of great price in the sight of God.” Becoming angry, being proud and resistant makes us hard inside. Yielding all rights to Him makes it possible for us to become soft, full of love with a meek and quiet spirit. We having NOTHING to defend, for all that we have and all that we are belong to God. Then we can be fashioned into His likeness. The likeness of the One who gave up all His rights and position in heaven with the Father, to come to this earth for us! He took on the form of mankind, walked this earth even as we walk, took up a cross and died for us. Can we do any less for Him? Jesus says, “If any man would follow Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23). That is His directive to us. What this means is that when “our will” is crossed, we yield to His will = the cross. Therefore, yielding, surrender, humility and meekness; all these go hand in hand.
Oh Lord, we cannot live this Christian life and please you without your precious Holy Spirit living and moving and having His being in and through us. Please Lord, take us and make us what you want us to be. Make us daughters of the Most High who PLEASE you in all that we say and do. May we live the remainder of our days for YOU, our blessed Savior and Holy Father, and may our lives be to Your glory and praise. Help us to be what we ought to be by Your power working in us. Thank you Father, in Jesus Name. A-men.