In order to become “good” mothers there is one requirement that takes precedence over everything else. That is establishing our relationship with the Lord first and foremost. We need to establish a “love” relationship with our Heavenly Father, and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ,on continual basis. “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these thing shall be added unto you.” That means when He is first and has priority in our life, then everything else falls into proper order; including our roles as wives, mothers and every other role that we may have. We must develop our hearts and minds so that they go upwards towards Him when we are not otherwise occupied. Talking to Him, singing to Him, reading the Word, thinking about how wonderful He really is and how good He has been to us, and worshipping Him from our hearts in grateful thanksgiving!
Then we must walk in obedience to His Word and His will for our lives. This shows Him that we love Him and that we want to do all His will, and that HE is more important than WE are.
We have been given an awesome responsibility when He decides to bless us with a child in our womb. This awesome responsibility is to raise this new life for the Lord. After all, He is the one who really created this child and we have been blessed with the privilege of caring for it, teaching it, loving this child and giving it back to the Father who created it. We are to teach our children that HE is their Heavenly Father who loves them very much, watches over them and will guide and direct their lives for His purposes as they grow up. We are to teach them that THEY can have a personal relationship with their Heavenly Father and teach them to love Him at a very early age, even as we do.
The Lord is looking for men and women who are willing to wholly abandon their lives and desires to Him, to carry out HIS will and desires on this planet. WE are the ones who raise these men and women for this purpose. So we must put our whole heart into this task, privilege, in order to produce the best children that we can for Him, of course with His help.
This requires much time and effort and self sacrifice. Our time and our attention will be taken up for at least the next eighteen years, and then it continues after that. But at the end of those eighteen years of raising men and women for God, knowing in your heart, that you did the very best job you possibly could, there comes a very rewarding feeling of accomplishment for having a job well done; besides the blessing of having blessed our Father and having pleased Him.
These children, ladies, are our FRUIT in life. This is fruit that will last for eternity, and is well worth investing in for the next eighteen years of our lives. At our death, will our jobs, our houses, trips, cars, money have any meaning at all? No! Only fruit that lasts will not be burned up as hay and stubble, and that is our children.
When you find out that you are pregnant, it is a blessed joy and privilege that the Lord is blessing you with. Raising our children is an opportunity to serve Him in the fullest way possible. I use to sing to the child that I was carrying in my womb at the time, as I have heard that unborn children can hear, feel and sense things even before they are actually born. So I use to sing to this child and rock it in the rocking chair, trying to instill my love for the Lord into this child. I also prayed very hard that God would give me supernatural love for the child I was carrying, so that I would love this child beyond measure and unconditionally. The Lord DID answer these prayers for me, and I believe I have been given such a love for my sons that most women do not experience, because I prayed so hard for this to happen. I KNEW that I did not have a NATURAL mother’s love for children, and I was scared to death to bring a life into this world and then not love it. How terrible that would be. So I was compelled to PRAY for that love that I lacked in the natural, and ladies if you also do not have a “natural” love for babies or children, don’t worry, when we pray unselfishly like this to be able to love our children (in or out of the womb) God WILL most certainly answer your prayers, and you will be filled with more love for that child than you could ever imagine. I KNOW! It happened to me 3 times.
I also prayed that I would not love one child over another and have no partiality in my heart between them. That scared me too. I see children whose parents show favoritism towards one child over another and it grieves me so much. I see the pain in that child’s face that was not favored by the parent, and I NEVER NEVER wanted to be like that. I wanted to enjoy and love them JUST THE SAME! So I prayed for that also, when I was carrying them in my womb. And the Lord answered that too! I love all of my sons the same, with a passionate, vital love that never ever goes away. They are all grown now, but motherhood was my most wonderful experience in all of life; being able to pour my life into these little guys for as long as I had them. It was absolutely wonderful. I only wished they would have never grown up, because I enjoyed them so much. But I must let them go, and become men for the Lord and be used by Him for His purposes. I must now just sit back and rejoice in the fruit of my labor, and be blessed with their lives as I watch them mature into men of highest integrity, morals, convictions and love for the Lord. Thank you Jesus for the privilege you gave to me!
I did not have a mother who “loved” me, and so I was determined that I was not going to put any child I ever had through that experience. I was determined that I was going to be interested in what they were doing, really LISTEN with genuine interest to them as they told me their little troubles, care about what they cared about, take an interest in their lives, and do all that I possibly could to be there for them when they needed me. Then I had the privilege of sharing the Lord with them, and they listened!
God is interested in our attitude as mothers. We don’t want to be like those women who complain about their children, can’t wait for them to grow up and be out of the house. I also become very grieved when I hear women talk like that. They have missed so much. Our primary ministry and purpose in life as wives and mothers is to our husbands and to our children, then anything else that comes along that we have time for; which won’t be much. Doing these two areas RIGHT is our first and primary ministry, and that which will bring us our fullest joy and deepest satisfaction. And one day we will hear our blessed Lord say to us before the Judgment Seat of Christ, “Well Done! My good and FAITHFUL servant, come enter into the joy of My rest!”
The Bible says that, “Moses was faithful in all his house.” He was faithful in all that he did, in every area of his life. We want to be found the same way. We want to be faithful to raise our children for Him and be found faithful to our husbands in every way. We want to be faithful children of God who are used to be examples for others to emulate.
Psalm 127:3-5 says, “Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of their youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall subdue their enemies in the gate.” Wow! Do we feel this same way about the children or child we are raising?
God wants to have a family! To love and be loved by, to share His blessings with, to fellowship and commune with, to make like His dear Son, Jesus, walking in love even as He loved us. He wants to make us children of God who reflect His character and divine nature for the world to see (so that they can see what He is like and come to know Him too). He desired this so much that He was willing to give up His OWN child, Jesus, and allow His OWN Son to be put to death for us! It is our children who are the ones who become His family!
The Covenants or Promises of God with His people all had to deal with their children. This also means us as well, and our children and our children’s children. Take Abraham for example. All the nations of the world would be blessed through his son, Isaac. A LINE of faith would be established through Isaac. You see, as Christian parents (or God’s people), we start a new line when we get married, if our parents were not saved before us. We start a line of righteousness and a line of faith, even as Abraham did with the line of Isaac. Our children will pass down to their children a love for and an understanding of the things of the Lord and of His ways to their children and so forth on down the line. This is a line of righteousness and faith started with YOU and your husband (or wherever the Christian lineage began), that will be passed down to many generations. Through King David was brought the line of the Messiah and who knows what God has planned for our own children or grandchildren?
Now as we see the privileges of parenting, let’s become committed to the task. Learn to love and communicate with our children or our grandchildren now, with a new outlook. It cost a lot to have a family, first the birth pains, frustrations and failures, giving and dying to self but remember it cost God MORE!
The fruit of the womb is our REWARD and how sweet it is!
Now let’s talk about possessiveness. One thing I believe that really grieves the Lord is when we are possessive, and not trust Him with their lives. Not allowing His plans and purposes to be playing out in their lives. That is the same as saying, “I can do it better than you can Lord.” How ridiculous is that? We need to see that we are raising them for HIM. They belong to HIM and we are to care for and love them only for as long as He permits. We must be willing to relinquish them back to Him at any moment that He decides to take them (I know, as I had to relinquish one of my 3 sons to the Lord through death already). When we have them baby dedicated to the Lord, what are we saying? We are saying that we want to be a channel for His love to filter through us to them. He has entrusted us with their lives. We are the earthly parents raising them for their might eternal Heavenly Father, to know Him, love Him, steering their thoughts and desires towards Him and creating a love in their hearts for HIM because they belong to Him.
God is our perfect example of an unpossessive parent! Didn’t He relinquish Jesus for us? What if He had been selfish and not wanted to see Jesus suffer any pain? What if He didn’t want to be separated from Him for 33 years so He decided not to give Him up for us. What would have happened then?
When He gave up Jesus, light came into the world instead of darkness. Peace came to those who believed. Forgiveness of sin came to reconcile the sinner to his God. Eternal relationship was made possible for all mankind to have God as their Father. See what a model Parent God is for us, and how the price that He paid was so fruitful? God’s agape love, giving love always pays off and so will ours.
Possessive love is not always patient and kind. it may insist on our own way, can be irritable or resentful if our love isn’t returned. It’s not an issue if the kids love us back or not (but they will). Possessive love can fall into a deep depression if the loved one neglects or disagrees with her. One author said, “Possessive love is not really love at all – but a lust for power.” Which kind of love do we have for our children?
Abraham was asked to kill his son, Isaac. The “promised one” that he had been waiting for, for so many years. But he didn’t fight God or curse Him, or disobey Him. He was willing to relinquish Isaac back to God, believing that if he did kill him, that God would give him back to him. He TRUSTED God. The result was God’s protection over Isaac. We tie God’s hands of protection with possessiveness. He won’t go against our will; He will just sit back and wait. He let’s us make a mess of things until we finally come to Him.
Look at Rebecca. She didn’t believe that “the oldest (Esau) would serve the youngest (Jacob)” as God had promised, so she felt she had to take matters into her own hands and make the promise of God come true in Jacob’s life. This led her to deceive her husband and it almost had Jacob killed by Esau. Also, she never saw her son again and never got to see the promise fulfilled. Wouldn’t it have been better for her to yield and wait for God to bring about His plans and purposes for her son? Then it would have been counted unto her as righteousness. Remember that Abraham was called “a friend of God’, because he was willing to TRUST God with the most important thing in his life, his son Isaac, and was even willing to plunge a knife into his heart. We want to be like this. God gave us our child in the first place, and if we try to do our part in raising this child for Him, He will certainly do the rest to bring about His purposes for their live.
Look at Hannah who longed for a child for so many years, and then said that if God would give her a child, she would give the child back to the Lord. The Lord heard her prayer and gave her a son named Samuel. She took Samuel to the High Priest, Eli, and Eli raised Samuel in the temple. This must have been so very very hard for her to do. But the results were great! She had 3 more sons and two daughters after that. Samuel turned out to become a mighty prophet who turned Israel back to God. There is no greater reward a mother can have than to see her children grow into godly men and women for the Lord.
If we have had the wrong kind of love or attitude towards our children then confess it to the Lord. Repent and ask for His love and the ability to see parenting as He does. To see the privilege in raising lives for God their Father. Take up this responsibility as a faithful servant, and together with Him, raise your youngsters for His Glory.
What Greater Reward Could We Have?