Best Friends

I know not all of you are married.  But I know that all of you do have a “best friend” of some sort, whether a sister, brother, mother, father, or an equal pier.  So if this is your case, we can all learn to be a better friend though some of these illustrations not apply.  In this article  I am mainly speaking to married women and men,  but even if you are single, the principles in the following  can still be applied to your “best friend” as well.  Now let’s examine a “best friend”.   A best friend is someone who accepts you .  They accept you on your good days and on your bad days.  They accept your faults and your strengths, and their friendship (which is really love), they are not fickle (unfaithful, in & out), nor ever quit you.  You feel that no matter what, thick or thin, they will still be there for you.  Look at God’s love for us.  First of all we don’t deserve His love and yet He still loves us when we fail Him.  He doesn’t put conditions on His love towards us.  And what’s more He gave us the power to become the sons of God and the ability to love with His kind of love.  Especially our own spouses. Heaven is not a gossip gallery, where God and the angels sit up there and make fun of our failings and weaknesses.  And never should we do that about our spouse.  We should never talk about them behind their backs in a negative way, belittle them in any way, nor make our spouse the brunt of jokes.  I know that we all may have messed up in this area from time to time, but we need to then repent and ask God to forgive us, and stop in our tracks, not doing it anymore.  God is not pleased with this and we perhaps then might have to suffer the consequences of dishonoring our husbands.  I don’t know about you, but I have had to suffer enough “consequences for my actions” of sin that I did, and so I really try not to do anything that would displease the Lord and bring upon myself more consequences to reap, because of my actions.  We want to please our wonderful Lord and God our Father, and do His will as best we can.  Love doesn’t uncover someone’s sins, but instead a best friend is someone you can go to and share with. Sharing your innermost desires, hopes and dreams and not being afraid of being scolded for them, or put down, or discouraged in what you desire, hope for or dream.  You feel SAFE with them.

You feel that they are not going to laugh at you, or ridicule you and think you are silly.  You feel that you can TRUST them.  People, we need this, among husband and wives, and amongst each other.   Best friends give moral support and encouragement to each other.  We need to BE THERE for each other.  When they are down or discouraged or going through a trial, we are the ones who can pray.  We can pray for our friend best, because we know them, and can ask God’s blessings and strength and try to build them up.  And men are desperately needed to daily pray for their wives and families.  The Bible says that we are the weaker vessels.  Both in stamina and endurance.  We are weaker physically and go thru more emotional changes than men do (like menopause, periods and etc).  We NEED our men’s prayers.  And we as women have been given the assignment as their wives  to pray daily for our men’s safety, protection against temptations, praying that they become strong men of  God or come to know God, and that they receive wisdom from God to guide the family according to His plan and Will for our lives.  If we see things that we believe need changing in their lives, then we go to God and ask HIM to intervene in a situation or attitude, and not to someone else.  Other people cannot answer our prayers, only God can.  So He is the one we go to.

And while we are on the subject of listening, most of all we need to listen to our children.  We need to stop what we are doing and sit down and just talk to them, showing them that we ARE interested in their lives (as well as our own), that we WANT to hear what they are thinking, feeling, how their day went, who did what to who, listen to their hopes and dreams, their little struggles, and just be a person that they feel safe with as well in sharing their intimate thoughts and problems, without fear of being ridiculed, put down and feeling they can’t go to us. They too will turn to others for this need to be met if we can’t provide this for them.

Best friends try to lighten the load for each other.  Make life easier for the other person.  For example, my husband, Jim, when I started working outside the home for a short while, helped me a lot on those days.  I appreciated this so much and in turn I loved him all the more.  Both men and women have needs.  Women can minister to the needs of her husband like nobody else can, because she knows him and what pleases him.   He needs us just be sweet and understanding when he gets home, and particularly listen to what he has to say and is excited about.  Like my husband, he is very knowledgeable and excited about what is going on in the world right now and he tells me all about it.  I am thankful that he comes to me and shares what he sees and knows is happening, but I have to LISTEN.  I have to listen to what he is saying attentively and with interest and not boredom.  Not glancing at the clock or my watch, or showing any type of body language or commenting with any disinterested voice responses that might show disinterest.  If we don’t listen them our men might find someone else who they can go to and will listen to them.  I believe this is part of our assignment as wives when it says that we are to respect our husbands.

Men as well need to be sure that they make time for their wives.  Best friends should always try to make quality time to be with each other.  In that way, both friends can share, dream, pray for, discuss, and just flat enjoy each other’s company.  This will show them that they are  special to you and that you care.  We need people who will listen to us.  That is what a best friend does best of all.  Just listen and care.  Have you ever run across someone who did all the talking, and you didn’t have a chance to enter into the conversation with things you would have liked to share with them in return?  I have, many times.  I do not like to be around people like that.  They don’t really want to be my friend, they just want to have a sounding board and use whomever they can, to listen to them.  Let’s be interested and care because we care about them.

And finally, best friends forgive.  They forgive all the wrongs done against them by you, they don’t nurse grudges, but let it go.  We all have the devil to fight, and not one another.  So let’s join forces and be used together for His glory and for His purposes of being a best friend to first our spouse, and then perhaps to someone else.  That is being a blessing to someone, more than you can ever know.  You in particular are valuable as you are the one who has the opportunity to minister to someone in this way, that nobody else can do, but you.  God has put certain people in your life at certain times to befriend that others do not have the opportunity to befriend, so He gave you this assignment.  So let’s us all fulfill this calling that the Lord has given to us, and love one another, care about each other and be faithful friends to one another, and especially to our “Best Friend”.

Jesus said that if we obeyed Him, then He calls us HIS friend.  John 15:12-15 says, “I command you to love each other in the same way that I love you.  And here is how to measure it–the greatest love is shown when people lay down their lives for their friends.  You are My friends if you obey Me.  I no longer call you servants, because a master doesn’t confide in his servants.  Now you are My friends, since I have told you everything the Father told Me.” Can you imagine what a privilege we have been given by the Lord?  Not only are we the children of God, but we are also a “friend” of Jesus if we obey Him and follow His commands.  Wow!  This is wonderful!